I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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