I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
