I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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