For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
