What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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