Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You dont lie about slip and slides
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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