is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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