I'm drive I can fine osifer
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
3 2 1 whiskey
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
