I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
