he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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