Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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