You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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