Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
