A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize