Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
