This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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