I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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