just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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