You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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