Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
