You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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