We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
