its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
