Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
