I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
