I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize