I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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