There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
