I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
