We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
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