Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?

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(425): View more from Washington

Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water

(425): View more from Washington

Legs for days

(1-425): View more from Washington

Harpoon that

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(586): View more from Michigan

Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is

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(713): View more from Texas

He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We don't really communicate like that.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Communicate like what?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.

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(727): View more from Florida

I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10

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