I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
