He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
