i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
