when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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