She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
