He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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