I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
try to milk me bitch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize