Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
