maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Acid is not a monday night drug
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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