the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
