How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Small penises have feelings too.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
