I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
