I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
