we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
