im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
