i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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