I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
