forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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