I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
