So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
