I love black thongs
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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