Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
