Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
