I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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