I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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