billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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