You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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