I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize