It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
