Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize