Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this boner is exhausting
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
