that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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